Title: The Eccentric Anglican Church Service
Characters:
· Father John the vicar
· Mrs. Smith, the church warden
· Tom, the altar server
· Simon, the verger
· The choir (composed of parishioners)
Setting: The sanctuary of the church, with the altar, the pulpit, and the pews. The stage is decorated with Anglican symbols, such as crosses, candles, and hymnals. The audience is composed of other parishioners and some curious outsiders.
Father John: Good morning, dear brothers and sisters, and welcome to our Anglican Church Service. As you know, we follow a rich tradition of liturgy and worship, but today we will add some twists and turns to keep you on your toes. So let us begin!
(Music starts playing, and the choir enters the sanctuary singing a hymn.)
Choir: (singing) Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, early in the morning our song shall rise to thee...
(Father John enters the sanctuary wearing a colorful vestment and a mitre, holding a stuffed animal.)
Father John: Hallelujah, praise the Lord! Good morning, everybody, and bless you all! Today we have a special guest with us, Mr. Teddy Bear, who will assist us in our worship. Let us pray.
(Everyone bows their heads, and Father John starts praying.)
Father John: Dear Lord, we thank you for this wonderful day, and for this wonderful congregation. We pray that you bless us and guide us in all our ways, and that you help us to bear witness to your love and your grace. And we pray especially for Mr. Teddy Bear, that he may feel welcome and loved in this house of worship. Amen.
(Everyone says "Amen" and then Father John gives Mr. Teddy Bear to Tom, the altar server.)
Father John: Now, Tom, take good care of Mr. Teddy Bear, and make sure he feels comfortable.
Tom: (nodding) Yes, Vicar, I will do my best.
(Father John goes to the pulpit and starts reading the scripture.)
Father John: Today's reading is from the book of Revelation, chapter 21, verses 1 to 5.
(Simon, the verger, enters the sanctuary carrying a large umbrella.)
Simon: (whispering to Mrs. Smith) Excuse me, Warden, but it's raining outside, and I don't want the vicar to get wet.
Mrs. Smith: (whispering back) Simon, what are you doing with an umbrella inside the church?
Simon: (shrugging) Well, you never know when it might rain, do you?
Mrs. Smith: (rolling her eyes) Just be careful not to poke anyone with it.
(Simon goes to the back of the church and stands there holding the umbrella over his head.)
Father John: (continuing the reading) "And I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more..."
(Tom, the altar server, accidentally drops the candle on the floor, and it starts rolling towards the choir.)
Choir: (gasping) Oh, no!
Father John: (pausing the reading) What happened?
Tom: (panicking) I'm sorry, Vicar, I dropped the candle!
Mrs. Smith: (whispering to Tom) Don't worry, just pick it up and put it back on the altar.
Tom: (nodding) Yes, Warden, sorry.
(Tom picks up the candle and puts it back on the altar.)
Father John : (resuming the reading) "...And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'See, the home of God is among mortals. He will dwell with them as their God; they will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them...'"
(Simon, the verger, accidentally opens the umbrella and it hits a pew.)
Pew: (creaking)
Mrs. Smith: (whispering to Simon) Simon, what are you doing now?
Simon: (shrugging) Sorry, Warden, I thought it would be a good idea to check if the umbrella was working properly.
Mrs. Smith: (sighing) Just put it away, please.
(Simon closes the umbrella and puts it under his arm.)
Father John: (finishing the reading) "He will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away."
(Music starts playing, and the choir stands up to sing another hymn.)
Choir: (singing) Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me...
(Father John goes to the altar and starts preparing the communion.)
Father John: Dear brothers and sisters, we will now partake of the holy sacrament of communion, the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. Please come forward and receive the bread and the wine, and remember his sacrifice for our salvation.
(Tom, the altar server, accidentally spills the wine on the vicar's vestment.)
Father John: (surprised) Oh, dear! That's quite a stain! Well, no matter, we shall continue with the service.
(Everyone receives the communion, and then Father John concludes the service.)
Father John: Thank you all for coming, and for enduring our little eccentricities. We hope you had a blessed time, and that you will join us again next Sunday. May the Lord be with you always.
(Everyone says "And also with you" and then leaves the sanctuary, chatting and laughing.)
Mrs. Smith: (to Simon) Well, that was quite an adventure, wasn't it?
Simon: (smiling) Yes, Warden, but it was fun. I think we should do it more often.
Tom: (joining them) Count me in, too. I love serving in this church.
Father John: (approaching them) I'm glad to hear that, my friends. It's always good to have a joyful and dedicated team. And let's not forget Mr. Teddy Bear. He did a great job, didn't he?
(Everyone laughs and agrees.)
The Next instalment will be Published on 8th July at 12 PM UK Time
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